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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Who smells a sock they find in their pocket?

I do, that is right I pulled a sock right out of my coat pocket and smelled it! Now let me explain a little- this sock was only worn by Kate for about 15 minutes one morning before it fell off in Kallies front yard on the way in the door. But when I picked up the girls one night Kallie had it sitting out with the stuff to go home and I just put it in my coat pocket, well tonight on the way out to my car from work I found it in my pocket and I knew it would smell like my sweet baby girl (stinky feet and all) and brought it right up to my nose and took the sweet scent of KayKay's little pigs! Not really, it really just smelled like Kate- and a little bit of laundry soap, unscented laundry soap still has a scent to me! Anyway my point to this little odd story is that you find yourself doing the strangest most peculiar things as a parent don't you? I never thought I would talk so much about poop in my life, but now it is a hot topic. I never thought I would pick another human beings nose, but I do. I never thought I would kiss a snotty nose, but now know I would never ever refuse a kiss from my little girls- snot, slobber, or maple syrup I will take it any day. I never thought I would watch hours of cartoons again in my life, but Dora has become a member of the family, and I must admit I get excited when a new episode comes on. I never thought that I would use spit to wipe my kids face clean, but when you are about to go into church or the store and you realize that your child has smeared raspberry cereal bar from one side of her mouth to the other you will lick your thumb and try to scrub it off if you have no wipes- heck I will be honest and say you will do it even if you have wipes but they are in your purse or buried in the diaper bag that you never remember to take in the store with you. I never thought I would just shrug my shoulders when I got puked or pooped on, but I do. I never thought that I could spend my whole day praying, but it feels like I do sometimes. I am not complaining about that but honestly I feel like there are not enough minutes in the day for God to hear all of my prayers about my children, and that is mind boggling. I could pray for every minute of every day of the rest of my life and it still would not be enough! I never realized how much anxiety being a Mom puts on a woman- again not complaining but parenthood just makes you look at everything in such a different light. I am just so amazed everyday with the gifts that God has given Shane and I in Abbey and Kate, our lives have changed so much and I am so grateful for that. I wake up every day and look forward to seeing what the girls will do or say and what they will learn. I love being a working Mom but I sure do miss them for the hours we are away. Abbey is getting to be such an independent little person, on one hand it makes me sad that she does not need me as much as she used to but it makes me so happy to see her change and have new experiences. I love having Kate so close in age to Abbey because it makes me remember when Abbey did things for the first time and it is so neat to see how they do things that are so similar and yet other things so differently. The other day I asked my sister in law how every age could just be the best stage yet and she said that she thinks that about every age with her kids, even the teenage years. I said I was already missing certain parts of the girls lives from when they were babies- guess its time for #3 (just kidding)- but looking forward to the next stage in their lives just the same. Shane and I have been questioning our faith and where we want to ultimately place our membership at and in the process we have been reading the Bible a lot and doing a lot of prayer. I can see changes in our lives and feel myself changing as well, it is nice to grow and explore this path with my husband and children. I have also been listening to a christian radio station called KLOVE and the songs I hear on a daily basis have a profound impact on my life and I wanted to share the lyrics of one in particular song with you, this was written by Steven Curtis Chapman after his teenage son accidentally backed the family SUV over his little sister. He lost his daughter but was able to write a beautiful song about her, every time I hear this song it makes me very grateful for each and every day I have with my girls. I know that as mothers sometimes our lives get really hectic and busy and stressful, but my prayer for every mother out there is that you take the time each day to thank God for the amazing blessing He has bestowed upon you. If you have not heard Steven Curtis Chapman perform this song please take the time to look him up on and listen to it, for now you can read the lyrics.

Heaven is the Face
Heaven is the face of a little girl
With dark brown eyes That disappear when she smiles
Heaven is the place Where she calls my name
Says, "Daddy please come play with me for awhile"
God, I know, it's all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I'm aching for God,
you know, I just can't see beyond the door
So right now Heaven is the sound of her breathing deep
Lying on my chest, falling fast asleep while I sing
And Heaven is the weight of her in my arms
Being there to keep her safe from harm while she dreams
And God, I know, it's all of this and so much more
But God, You know, that this is what I'm longing for God,
you know, I just can't see beyond the door
But in my mind's eye I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space
All the cancer is gone
Every mouth is fed
And there's no one left in the orphans' bed
Every lonely heart finds their one true love
And there's no more goodbye
And no more not enough
And there's no more enemy No more
Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss
And a thousand other little things I miss with her gone
Heaven is the place where she takes my hand
And leads me to You
And we both run into Your arms
Oh God, I know, it's so much more than I can dream
It's far beyond anything I can conceive
So God, You know, I'm trusting You until I see
Heaven in the face of my little girl
Heaven in the face of my little girl

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