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Monday, April 26, 2010

Crazy Love

Just wanted to share that if you have not heard of a book by Francis Chan called Crazy Love then you should check it out- probably about 10 bucks and well worth it.  Basically its all about falling in love with Christ and Christ being in love  with us.  This book by far has been the first book I can truly say has changed the way I look at life.  I think most of you would agree that there has never been a time in my life where I did not have a relationship with Jesus- but I can say that there have been "seasons" of change for sure.  I had a wonderful Mom and Dad who raised me in a Christian home and although I did not always agree with their "rules" (what kid does) I can't say how thankful I am that they always made sure that I had the knowledge I needed to build my relationship with Christ.  With that being said the biggest "faith" struggle I have is with past sins and choices I made in my life- it is hard for me to think that some of my choices can just be forgiven.  But over the past few months from reading this book and listening to KLOVE (Christian radio station) at work and in the car I have found myself letting go of those past sins, knowing that I am forgiven.  It also helped me put it into perspective though hearing a sermon at church and a comment from my sister in law which I will share with you.  It will make a lot of sense if you are a parent, that is when it sunk in for me.  Let's say that your child did something that really really hurt you, yet over time they realized that their actions were wrong and realized how much they hurt you.  Then they came to you and sat down and poured their heart out to you and acknowledged that they were wrong and saw their faults and asked for you to forgive them.  Let's also say that you saw how truly sorry they were and you granted them forgiveness.  How would you feel if then your child came to you, tearfully, everyday from then on out and kept telling you how sorry they were and kept asking if you could forgive them?  I thought about this and it broke my heart- I can't imagine Abbey or Kate feeling like they could not accept my forgiveness once I had told them all was forgotten.  I then realized that I had been doing the same thing with God- going to Him day in and day out begging for forgiveness of past sins- probably to the point of annoyance- but as a human we are stubborn!  I then also realized that I was in a way not having faith by doing this because we are told that when we truly admit our sins and ask to be forgiven we are- by not believing this it was hindering my relationship.  I could not grow because I could not get past my past!  I was also so caught up in confessing the same sins over and over again I did not have time to add new prayers or concerns, which I have a lot of, to the mix.  Then I heard this song on KLOVE and it pretty much put in into perspective- which it is funny because I had heard this song about a thousand times before I really really heard the words.  Anyways I am happy to say that I no longer struggle with my past like I used to because I set it free, it honestly was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders and I see things growing and happening in my life now because of it.  The song is by Sanctus Real and its called Forgiven- fitting huh?!  I will post the lyrics at the end.  But I just thought this was worth sharing because after talking about this with a few people I realized how many of us struggle with our past.  No one is perfect, nor are we expected to be that is why we have the chance at a relationship with Christ- to save us from ourselves!  Feel free to email me with questions or comments I would love to talk more! 


Well the past is playing with my head


And failure knocks me down again

I’m reminded of the wrong

That I have said and done

And that devil just wont let me forget



In this life

I know what I’ve been

But here in your arms

I know what I am

I’m forgiven

I’m forgiven

And I don’t have to carry

The weight of who I’ve been

Cause I’m forgiven



My mistakes are running through my mind

And I’ll relive my days, in the middle of the night

When I struggle with my pain, wrestle with my pride

Sometimes I feel alone, and I cry



In this life

I know what I’ve been

But here in your arms

I know what I am


When I don't fit in and I don’t feel like I belong anywhere

When I don’t measure up to much in this life

Oh, I’m a treasure in the arms of Christ ‘cause I'm forgiven

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